Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
SpongeBob Squarepants!
Yellow and spongey and porous is he!
SpongeBob Squarepants!

I admire SpongeBob Squarepants so much! His is SO brave to have an interspecies relationship. Not only that, but he's having a HOMOSEXUAL interspecies relationship. I mean, who would've thought that a SPONGE and a STARFISH could make a relationship work?

Not to mention, sponges can reproduce asexually too. SpongeBob didn't even need to enter into such an untraditional relationship - he doesn't even need to find a nice girl sponge to reproduce!

There are even some species of hermaphrodite sponges, that can produce a sperm and an egg. Its a good thing that Nickelodeon clearly identifies SpongeBob as a male. Or is it that clear? Spongebob could also be a transvestite! GASP! Think of the children he influences! Oh, the grand Nickelodeon conspiracy! The horror, the horror!

Starfish are only a little less confusing in their mating rituals. Gosh, just the thought of all these evil, hedonistic things about sponges and starfish is corrupting the minds of every young child who watches this cartoon! It must stop now! I call on you, children of the religious right, burn down SpongeBob's house of headonism - his pineapple under the sea before he encourages too many kids to start relationships with starfish! Especially same-sex STARFISH! Oh, and good luck figuring out how to light a fire underwater.

Must remember: boys holding hands with each other = gay AND gay = bad.

For a quick bit of humor:

I must have DARTH TATER. Mr. Potato Head as Darth Vader. Could it get any better.

And from the makers of "This Land", Jib Jab presents Second Term