Steve Feigh is entering his senior year at Tech! Man, where'd the time go? Somehow he was still a freshman in my mind, always.

While I am reminscing, last year on this date, I had just emerged from Technoparade weekend in Zurich. And I posted in my journal:

I have a confession to make. Yesterday, I stole a roll of toilet paper. I ran out early in the morning. On Sundays, NOTHING is open. No grocery stores, no markets, no convenience stores, nothing. My only option was to take a train into Zurich or... well, steal. So, I got desperate and smuggled a roll out of a public restroom. Oh, baby, I'm bad. Next story: grand theft auto?

Its still strange to me to think about life with no 24-hour convenience stores.

Homework blues

I happily submitted my final yesterday. However, my homework is still incomplete. I am making progress - the prof gave us all extensions to turn it in tomorrow. It was funny, I was working on it in my apartment late last night, contrasting this to school. Yes, I was still stressed about finishing. But, no, I wasn't very concerned about the outcome, feeling very confident that as long as I finished, I would either get an A or a B, and either or it wouldn't really matter (though of course I would prefer an A). My dog was sleeping under my feet, I had my own apartment, this is my only class... it felt strange. I don't know how to describe it.

A year ago at school, I would be stressing about homework MASSIVELY, and frankly be very unhappy about having to do it. It would upset me. All I would dream about is getting away to a normal life where I didn't have homework. And here I was, in my so-called "normal" life, doing homework again. But to tell the truth, it didn't make me unhappy like I was before, especially during my senior year. I was kind of indifferent, but not upset. I forgot what it was like to not get upset over school work. Actually, I think the last time I wasn't thoroughly upset was probably prior to my entrance into the IB program in high school. I remember getting excited about projects, even, in elementary school and even occasionally in junior high. I don't remember a single project which I enjoyed after the 9th grade. Actually, I only remember a few projects that didn't cause me to be upset and create severe frustrations. I can count on one hand the number of homework assignments that didn't make me upset: a couple of physics homework assignments in high school; reading Grapes of Wrath (which I absolutely adored); a couple of fluids labs; and the jet engine design from jet pro. Otherwise, school work has been associated with mostly unhappy memories.

This is not to say I didn't love school -- I like it, I like the environment, I love the teachers and professors I've had, I love all the activity and energy, I love my friends, I love the congeniality of being up late and complaining and working and sharing answers and the feeling of "completeness" when you solve a problem and the solution is absolutely beautiful. But the school part -- the study part -- the academic part -- I think I can admit it didn't suit me as well as most people think.

That's why I wasn't unhappy doing homework yesterday. It wasn't about academics. It wasn't about "A"'s. It was about learning the material, finishing a problem, the results wouldn't change my life, I didn't feel pressured to do it because I would get into an ivy league college (which I didn't), a full scholarship (which I did), grad. school, get a better letter of reference, get a better job, etc.

Did any of my rambling make sense?

Children: I am not encouraging you to hate school. Really. School is a good thing. Just for different reasons than usually quoted :).